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If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I would walk right up to heaven and bring you back home with me.

  
This memorial website was created in memory of my beloved companion, Joe Smith who was born in Olean, New York on January 07, 1951 and made an untimely departure from this earth on November 26, 2005 in Eagle Lake, Florida at the age of 54.

Joe and I had many beautiful memories in the 22+ years we were together. I had two children that he treated as his own, Jimmy and Melinda. He couldn't have been any better to our grandchildren than if they had been his own. Marriage license or not we were his family.

Joe was born to George and Joan Forney Smith (both of whom are deceased), the second child. He had an older brother, Larry who died in 1990, a younger sister Cindy, who lives with her husband in New Jersey, and a younger brother Jon who lives with his wife in Georgia.

Joe married Linda Cooper in 1970 and had 3 children, Chad, Christopher, and Paula. In 1982 they separated and Joe went to live at Hilton Head, SC which is where we met in April of 1983. Although Joe and I were never married in the legal sense of the word our relationship lasted until his death in 2005.

Joe loved hunting, fishing, any activity involving water, playing poker with my family, making grandkids feel special, bringing me flowers just because I didn't expect them, preparing me meals and bringing them to me because he was afraid I would forget to eat, his '90 Chrysler LeBaron, working 6 and 7 days a week, his friends, neighbors and was always willing to lend a helping hand to those in need.

Truly his only real vice was alcoholism. It destroyed so many things in his life. Joe fought that demon the majority of his life and it was never a battle he was to win. He tried and I believe he is one of the ones that members at AA meetings pray for as being one of the ones that are beyond help for their drinking.

Alcohol did not diminish his desire to work and do an excellent job when he was working and I think that is why he enjoyed working so much. Working left him less time to fight his demon. He probably never missed more than a half a dozen days from the time I met him in 1983 until his death because of alcoholism. Joe was highly regarded on his job by men much younger than himself for his ability to perform his job. His place of employment was deeply saddened by the loss of their fantastic employee. Joe is missed by many more people than he could have ever imagined.

Joe was diagnosed with a heart condition in November of 2002 and was sick off and on during the last three years. Joe became unable to deal with all the issues this illness brought him. The last year specifically he was out of work due to his illness several times.
 In July 2005, Joe learned he had a 16 year old son named Nathane from a very brief affair he had while we were not living together in 1988. Joe made the best of that situation and tried to be as much of a parent to Nathane as his health allowed. Unfortunately it did add to the financial problems he was already experiencing.

The pains he had, the sickness he felt and the dire condition of his financial state were just too much for him. Ultimately Joe took his own life. In my heart I know he thought he was sparing me the burden of having to take care of him and the financial issues his illness would bring. SUICIDE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN HIS ANSWER. Joe loved me and our families so much that if he had any idea of the additional trauma involved in suicide he definitely wouldn't have taken his life. Finding him, feeling guilty that I missed signs that suicide was his plan, flash backs of the day I found him, and the hurt I feel because I feel he didn't trust our love would be enough to make it through a natural course of death.


Suicide, even if you have the best of intentions is never the answer and I find myself daily reminding myself of that. Joe was a wonderful person that never really appreciated his worth. I am hoping and praying that in death he will have found what he so sadly missed in life. Joe I loved you then, I love you now, and I will always love you.



I Miss My Friend Sung By Darryl Worley

I miss the look of surrender in your eyes The way your soft brown hair would fall I miss the power of your kiss when we made love But baby most of all
I miss my friend The one my heart and soul confided in The one I felt the safest with The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again And let the light back in I miss my friend
I miss the colors that you brought into my life Your golden smile, those blue-green eyes I miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now Saying it'll be alright
I miss my friend The one my heart and soul confided in The one I felt the safest with The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again And let the light back in I miss my friend
I miss those times I miss those nights I even miss the silly fights The making up The morning talks And those late afternoon walks
I miss my friend The one my heart and soul confided in The one I felt the safest with

A Little About Gary Allan
I would like to say some things about Gary Allan and the feelings I have for his music. I fell in love with his voice and style of singing the first time I ever heard a song by him. A friend at work loaned me his "See If I Care" CD and I just thought he put as much feeling into his songs as any singer I've ever heard in my life. Joe and I used to play pool in the pool room we created after the family moved out and we had the space. He was so good at that game and if I ever beat him I was so tickled even if it was from his scratching. I always told him I'd take slop or any way to win. We would have Gary Allan blasting away on the stereo while we played. My daughter Melinda and I went and saw him in April of 05 at Cypress Gardens. Joe didn't care much for crowds so he wouldn't go. I did call him several times during the concert to let him hear what he was missing.

About a year after Joe died I found out that his wife had taken her life in October of 2004 and so we had been listening to a man who barely five months earlier had lost his wife and 6 children had lost a mother. Anyway I found out he had put out a CD the end of 2005 to help with his healing from that loss. The songs I have added in the audio sections are selections from his "Tough All Over" CD. His songs have made me cry for his loss as well as my own and I think his incredible drive to survive his loss is an inspiration to me. He needs to be patched up inside and I guess that's the way I am.


16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. 18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
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