Thankful to See the Healing  / Sallly Myers (Friend of Janet's )
Janet - What a year it has been! It is truly phenominal to watch the healing process through you. Not to say you are healed, but there has been a whole lot of it goin' on!! I wish I'd known Joe, your tributes portray a very cool dude! Thanks for sharing... Sally Close

Just thinking about you even more than usual - is that possible?  / Janet
I added a few Thanksgiving graphics because I know you did like the holiday or at the very least the deserts.  Also, I put Old DAn Tucker on because that will always be the song I most relate to you.  How I miss hearing you sing that song.  Funny thing, never believed you hadn't made it up.  Melinda brought a pie over tonight to put in the freezer and asked if it would be safe until Thanksgiving.  I told her since I was here alone and it was frozen she could feel pretty safe.  I can remember hiding things in the refrigerator the day before holidays so you wouldn't decide to start munching in the middle of the night.

I guess the best thing is I'm able to start remembering things about our life with only small amounts of tears.  It is only two weeks and you will have been gone for a year.  It seems impossible that I have survived that long without you in my life.  I never would have imagined it possible to stick around for all this pain.  Bad thing is the only fix to this pain was to take your cue and follow right along but I know as do the others you left behind how much pain it caused because you took your life.    I enjoy life somewhat and I love the kids and grandkids but my life as I knew it is over.  When your heart gets ripped apart and half of it is just missing it makes life barely tolerable.  Your heart may have been enlarged and caused you a lot of health problem but mine is broken and it causes me every bit as much pain as your illness caused you.

Chad and Paula were great to me and Melinda when you died and they came down.  They will never know how much that meant to me.  I am so sorry that they were all not a bigger part of your life through the years.  The crazy thing is I don't think any of them have a clue how much you loved them.  Of course I do.  Long distance relationships are difficult under the best of situations and the end of your marriage to Linda was anything but amicable.  I know how hard it was on you missing out on those relationships and I'm glad I could be there for you.  I just wish I could have been there for you at the end when you really needed me but you didn't reach out.

I never had anyone be the friend to me that you were.  You knew I had not always had an easy life and so wasn't real trusting.  After all the time we were together it was still hard to trust that you wouldn't hurt me.  How crazy was that?  Of course you hurt many times with actions and words through out the years and unfortuantely I hurt you with things I said and did to you.  We always forgave each other and moved on to other things.  I miss your laughter and sharing the antics of the grandkids with me.  Katharine misses you most because she spent more time with us.  Kalise is just Kalise and doesn't say much.  Yes she's still like a raccoon somewhat, loves to get into things.  She's doing great in school though.  Elizabeth who you never got to meet grows more beautfiul and sweet every day.

I guess it's all summed up on the memorial cards I made to invite some people to the Celebration of your life.  We will have this ceremony to remember you on  the first anniversary of your departure.  The front of the card it says "Sometimes we hurt the ones nearest to us because we think they'll accept whatever we do." 

I added the next paragraph which said "Unfortunately there are times those we love leave us with no other choice but to accept whatever they do."  You certainly didn't leave me any choice but to accept your actions in those final moments of your life.  All I know is I've never missed anyone as much as I miss the best friend I ever had in my life.  I seriously hope you have found the peace you so desperately needed.  I love you now and forever!  Too bad I couldn't be more like Pat.  LOL  Couldn't resist ending on a bit of humor that would be a shared joke between us. Close

Tears, Tears and More Tears  / Lisa Brown
Jan, 
You have put together such a wonderful tribute to the memory of Joe.  You're words are inspiring as well as heartbreaking.  It's so hard to see the pictures and listen to the music, knowing the end result of such a wonderful beautiful life!  You and Joe were soul-mates!!! No doubt about that!.   I will be praying for you and your family as the healing continues.  May God hold you in the palm of his hand give you the comfort that only He can provide.  

God Bless!
Lisa (Jeremy's Mom 1/1/84 - 11/24/03) Close

How Beautiful  / Susan McTier
Janet,  you wrote my Tony's story for me.  I read this and just sat and cried.  Thank you for showing your love for Joe in this manner.  Your Joe and my Tony could have been twins...Susan, remembering husband Tony. Close

So sorry  / Janet McReynolds
I wanted to come by and light a candle for Joe.
You have honored him so beautiful with this site I can see how much you loved him.

I lost my son almost 4 months ago and everyday is a challenge. That night my husband and I went to bed we took a blanket my son had and I covered us both with it and we cried until we went to sleep.

I can't imagine the loss of a spouse no more than I could have ever imagined the pain of loosing a child.

It's all so very hard and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

*Hugs*

Janet

Close

tears / Tracy (viewer)
Just wanted to say your site and memorial to JOE was beautiful!!
Thank you Close

Hello Friend  / Diane Taylor (friend of Janet from POS )
Dear Janet, what a beautiful tribute to your dear Joseph.  He was a wonderful man and you are a wonderful woman.  I am happy to meet you, too.  Joseph, shine your light and energy on Janet today in a special way. And say hi to Paul for me!  I am sure you guys and girls who have passed over in this special way have a unique connectin that brings us together to gather strength and love from each other.  Close

Beautiful Tribute  / Sue (member ofFFOS )
What a beautiful and touching tribute. It brought tears to my eyes. My deepest condolences to you. Close

Just Reflecting  / Janet
Right now feels kind of strange as it's just about the time I went to bed that Saturday morning before my world came crashing down.  This is the first time the 26th is on a Saturday and for some reason it makes it feel so much worse than the normal month anniversaries have.  I'm almost afraid to go to bed and yet what could I possibly wake up to find worse than I did nine months ago.  My whole world fell apart and changed forever on that morning.  It seems incredible to think that it's been that long and yet it seems like it's been forever since I saw your face.  I miss you so much some times it scares me and I wonder how I"ve kept going with my heart so broken.  The only thing that keeps me from falling completely apart is knowing you are no longer in pain and hopefully at peace. I'll always love you!! Close

So sorry  / Connie ((sammy's aunt) )
Dear Janet: This is the first time I have visited this site and it brought  me to tears.  You are so right about suicide not being the answer to anyone's problems.  Its so sad how many people do take this way out.  My sister (sammy's mom) as you know has never recovered from Sammy's death.  My mother has never recovered from my brothers death and its now been 22 years.  she still has alot of guilt even though she shouldn't but its a natural reaction. My sister has not been able to view Sammy's website and will go to the cemetary only on occassion.  For her its too much reality that her precious son isint' here anymore. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you Janet.  

god Bless

connie - Sammy's aunt - http://sammypepe.memory-of.com Close

My thoughts are with you  / Mary Ellen Johnson (long distant friend to wife )
I never meet you, but you sound like you were one heck of a guy and with seeing the pictures, you were. I know you will be missed by many more that you will ever know. Maybe up there, you might meet my husband, say hello for me please. I have gotten to know your wife,and she is very special too. We will give each other comfort down here on earth until we can come and see  you guys in later years. May you be happy and be at peace now, my thoughts are with you, and also with your wife.  Mary Ellen Johnson (Solos&Youngwidowers) Close

So much love  / Jane Coe
The site that you have created for you honey is so sweet and loving. You loved him so much. I am so sorry for your loss.

Jane Close

Thing of you...  / Jessica Eckman (Fellow FFOS Member )
Such a very beautiful & moving website.
  Close

Love is Forever  / Shelley Fowler (FFOS Member )
Janet you and Joe shared so much love...and I know you still do. You just hold on to that love.  I am thinking of you.  God Bless and keep you in His hands. Close

A fellow FFOS member  / Judi Hopkin
Hi Janet,
I was just visiting your site today and it is so obvious how much love you put into its making.   I know that you hold Joe close to your heart and have some wonderful memories of your life together.  Just wishing you peace and comfort as you continue your journey.
Hugs from one who understands the pain
Judi Close

Prayers for you  / Debbie Montgomery (passerby)
This is such a beautiful website. You have done such a wonderful job. I am so sorry for your loss. My step-son Seth has a web-site but his mom will not post anything we write on it. So sad, I started a web-site but my husband wanted me to just leave it alone so I did not finish it. Seth knows how much we loved him. I pray for you and yours. God Bless and keep you. Close

Just a few thoughts tonight  / Janet (Loving Partner )
Well sweetie, I'm letting Elizabeth spend the night tonight and I have to admit if I would let myself go where our grandkids are concerned I could probably deal with your death better.  Somehow when I try to give myself permission to live I see you in that camper again and this huge pain in my chest where my heart is begins.  It is all so hard to try and make it without you.  Now Mother's Day is coming up and while I wasn't your mother, I will certainly miss the loving cards, flowers and cake you gave me for most of the years we were together.  You made this day as special for me as my kids just because it was another occasion to show your love for me.  I will keep keeping on day by day until it isn't so hard any more.  I want you to rest in peace and know that you have not destroyed my life completely.  I know how much you would want me to live and I'm doing the best I can.  I loved you as much as I love my own life. Until the day comes and we are together in the after life I will hold tight to the knowledge and belief of that day. Close

Please accept my apologies Janet  / Gina/Wesleys Mum


Hi Janet,

I would like you to accept my apologies for my error in my last message to you.
I read a couple of the candles and they said 5th anniversary....I assumed that meant 5 years...not 5 months......I am just so sorry Janet and I hope this hasn't caused you too much pain. If only I'd just taken an extra moment or two then I would have realised by checking the dates.
Again, I am just so sorry ..........
GIna xx Close

Thank you Janet  / Gina/Wesleys Mum

Hello Janet,

Thank you for visiting Wesleys site and the candle and message you left for him and me, I really appreciated it.
Yes, I do remember coming to visit Joes site before but can't understand why I haven't been back lately, please accept my apologies for this oversight.
Joe sounds like a wonderful guy and it sounds like you had a good life together, and you both loved each other so much, I am so sorry he is no longer here with you. 5 years is a long time, I can't imagine being without Wes for 5 years. This last year has been horrendous, but then I don't need to tell you that do I. Sometimes I don't know how I got through it but I did, now I think , how do I get through the next year? Will I always be thinking this with every year that goes by?
My thoughts and prayers are with you Jan and I will be back to visit both yu and Joe soon.
Take caare, all my love, Gina xx  Close