God works in mysteries ways / Diane (friend of Janet )Read >>
God works in mysteries ways / Diane (friend of Janet )
Hello Janet and Joe, I was so happy to meet you last year at the retreat. Joe, keep shining on Janet and be with her during her flights. Hanging tough, kid. Peace and love, Diane Close
Beautiful!/ Patricia Dufour (FFOS)
I love the way you have created this site and it is truly a memorial to Joseph! I will keep you all in my heart.... Close
Beautiful tribute / Maggie Parker (none)
Hi Janet, Wow, what a beautiful tribute to your Joe. It made me cry. He was such a handsome and lucky man to have you in his life. It also made me think of my brother Ken who committed suicide 5-12-01 Your Joe sounded so much like my Ken. He was handsome, very talented, hard worker and he too fought alcoholism for most of his adult life. I have just buried my grief tried to moved on but its so hard. I miss him so much. I hope your grief journey gets easier as days go by. I know the pain never goes away. It does ease with time. Take care, Maggie Close
Wishing you peace / Judi Hopkin (FFOS member )Read >>
Wishing you peace / Judi Hopkin (FFOS member )
Hi Janet You have done a beautiful job of updating your website for Joe. It is really easy to see what a wonderful man he was as I look through your pictures and read your comments. May this new year bring you peace and comfort and healing. You are a blessing to many as you share your grief journey! Close
I just visited your updated site for Joe. It's moving, a beautiful testimony of your love for Joe.
As I looked at all of the photos, especially the photos of the 2 of you as a couple, I could not help but see the strong connection you had with Joe, and the love he had for your family. How special that Joe lived to walk Melinda down the aisle at her wedding! That must be one of the greatest honors of his life.
As I was reading your comments about Joe, it just came to me that Joe may not have lived longer, because ... he lived his life. He lived his life, so it was time to go.
That probably is not a sensible comment, but think about it. Maybe ...
Just Missing You / Janet Just missing you and wanted to let you know we are having a holiday chat tonight. It will be similar to the peace fires we have had except we will be lighting candles. My internet friends sure come up with awesome ways of sharing our remembrances. I am thankful for them and the way they have helped me survive this past year. You would have loved their spirit and love of others just as I do. Everything is decorated around the house and even the yard, quite a contrast to last year. I sit here au night and it's so easy to imagine you walking through commenting on how beautiful everything looks. I miss your compliments and the love you showed me for all the years we had together. One day we'll all be together and have a big party and celebrate our reunion but until then just know I love you now and always. Close
(((( Janet )))) / Jane Speidel, Mom Of Adam Waymire (Janet's friend (son is Joseph's angel friend) )Read >>
(((( Janet )))) / Jane Speidel, Mom Of Adam Waymire (Janet's friend (son is Joseph's angel friend) )
((( Janet ))) It was so very good to hear from you! I think about you from time to time, and am blessed to have met you in person. No, I hadn't forgotten that Joe and Adam have the same angel date. I was a complete mess that day. The second year was much harder to get through than was the first-I assume because reality is harsh and the shock had worn off.
You've created an absolutely beautiful memorial site for Joe. I love the way that you've decorated his gravesite, with the decorative edging, lava rock, etc. I didn't know that we could do that! Even in death, the love you have for Joseph shines on and reflects your inner beauty Janet. I am saddened that you are having to endure this loss, and agree with you completely, Suicide in not the answer.
I've heard the voice of Gary Allan, however I didn't know much about him, nor did I know that he had lost his wife to suicide. I will be shopping this weekend, and I do have his "See If I Care" CD on my shopping list.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers and sending (((((( HUGS)))))) to you. May you find peace in memories and comfort from the heavens above. May you feel Joseph's presence and know that he's with you in spirit.
Beautiful tribute / Patsy -. Paul's Mom Vande Ven (Retreat Friend )
Janet - this is an awesome tribute to Joe. I know how hard it is to create these sites I love what you have done with this. I need to update Paul's site, but I have been finding it very difficult lately to even go to the site. I also love the pictures of your Joe garden at his gravesite. It looks like such a nice place to visit and just sit and talk to Joe. I may "steal" some of your ideas to add to Paul's site at some time if you don't mind :)
Joe - Janet is a wonderful, strong, loving person. I had the pleasure to meet her at the Small Fall Retreat and she is so very nice. I can understand why you loved her so much. I know she misses you so very much, and remember she is going to pass away on your birthday just to make your headstone look cool :) Close
A Marathon Year of Survival / Judi Hopkin (FFOS member )Read >>
A Marathon Year of Survival / Judi Hopkin (FFOS member )
Dear JAnet I love the new look of the web site and the beautiful statement it makes about thanksgiving and family. I think of you often as I read the FFOS emails and pray for your healing and wholeness. MAy peace be yours in increasing abundance! Healing hugs, Judi, wife of Willis Close
Thankful to See the Healing / Sallly Myers (Friend of Janet's )
Janet -
What a year it has been! It is truly phenominal to watch the healing process through you. Not to say you are healed, but there has been a whole lot of it goin' on!!
I wish I'd known Joe, your tributes portray a very cool dude!
Thanks for sharing...
Sally Close
Just thinking about you even more than usual - is that possible? / Janet Read >>
Just thinking about you even more than usual - is that possible? / Janet I added a few Thanksgiving graphics because I know you did like the holiday or at the very least the deserts. Also, I put Old DAn Tucker on because that will always be the song I most relate to you. How I miss hearing you sing that song. Funny thing, never believed you hadn't made it up. Melinda brought a pie over tonight to put in the freezer and asked if it would be safe until Thanksgiving. I told her since I was here alone and it was frozen she could feel pretty safe. I can remember hiding things in the refrigerator the day before holidays so you wouldn't decide to start munching in the middle of the night.
I guess the best thing is I'm able to start remembering things about our life with only small amounts of tears. It is only two weeks and you will have been gone for a year. It seems impossible that I have survived that long without you in my life. I never would have imagined it possible to stick around for all this pain. Bad thing is the only fix to this pain was to take your cue and follow right along but I know as do the others you left behind how much pain it caused because you took your life. I enjoy life somewhat and I love the kids and grandkids but my life as I knew it is over. When your heart gets ripped apart and half of it is just missing it makes life barely tolerable. Your heart may have been enlarged and caused you a lot of health problem but mine is broken and it causes me every bit as much pain as your illness caused you.
Chad and Paula were great to me and Melinda when you died and they came down. They will never know how much that meant to me. I am so sorry that they were all not a bigger part of your life through the years. The crazy thing is I don't think any of them have a clue how much you loved them. Of course I do. Long distance relationships are difficult under the best of situations and the end of your marriage to Linda was anything but amicable. I know how hard it was on you missing out on those relationships and I'm glad I could be there for you. I just wish I could have been there for you at the end when you really needed me but you didn't reach out.
I never had anyone be the friend to me that you were. You knew I had not always had an easy life and so wasn't real trusting. After all the time we were together it was still hard to trust that you wouldn't hurt me. How crazy was that? Of course you hurt many times with actions and words through out the years and unfortuantely I hurt you with things I said and did to you. We always forgave each other and moved on to other things. I miss your laughter and sharing the antics of the grandkids with me. Katharine misses you most because she spent more time with us. Kalise is just Kalise and doesn't say much. Yes she's still like a raccoon somewhat, loves to get into things. She's doing great in school though. Elizabeth who you never got to meet grows more beautfiul and sweet every day.
I guess it's all summed up on the memorial cards I made to invite some people to the Celebration of your life. We will have this ceremony to remember you on the first anniversary of your departure. The front of the card it says "Sometimes we hurt the ones nearest to us because we think they'll accept whatever we do."
I added the next paragraph which said "Unfortunately there are times those we love leave us with no other choice but to accept whatever they do." You certainly didn't leave me any choice but to accept your actions in those final moments of your life. All I know is I've never missed anyone as much as I miss the best friend I ever had in my life. I seriously hope you have found the peace you so desperately needed. I love you now and forever! Too bad I couldn't be more like Pat. LOL Couldn't resist ending on a bit of humor that would be a shared joke between us. Close
Tributes and Condolences
Just missing you and wanted to let you know we are having a holiday chat tonight. It will be similar to the peace fires we have had except we will be lighting candles. My internet friends sure come up with awesome ways of sharing our remembrances. I am thankful for them and the way they have helped me survive this past year. You would have loved their spirit and love of others just as I do. Everything is decorated around the house and even the yard, quite a contrast to last year. I sit here au night and it's so easy to imagine you walking through commenting on how beautiful everything looks. I miss your compliments and the love you showed me for all the years we had together. One day we'll all be together and have a big party and celebrate our reunion but until then just know I love you now and always. 
I added a few Thanksgiving graphics because I know you did like the holiday or at the very least the deserts. Also, I put Old DAn Tucker on because that will always be the song I most relate to you. How I miss hearing you sing that song. Funny thing, never believed you hadn't made it up. Melinda brought a pie over tonight to put in the freezer and asked if it would be safe until Thanksgiving. I told her since I was here alone and it was frozen she could feel pretty safe. I can remember hiding things in the refrigerator the day before holidays so you wouldn't decide to start munching in the middle of the night.
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